Updated: Feb 5
I hope all of you have had a beautiful and gentle holiday season. I have learned a lot about myself, my priorities, and my purpose from this Sabbath year. I am sure you have too.
I can't believe that even though I have gone to no Christmas parties, I have not watched one Hallmark movie, or done one full Advent study.
In part because we moved, so homeschooling got shifted and pushed into Christmas break. But I did read two books my soul needed, which led to many revelations, confessions, and rededications.
The first I read was "Obedience Over Hustle" by Malinda Fuller. It's a great read if you are trying to make a dent in the online world. The second was " Forgiving What You Can't Forget" by Lysa Terkehurst ( and I also read " It's Not Supposed to Be This Way" by her as well). So, even though I didn't do a devotional on the baby Jesus, I did read works that involved a lot of response from me. I got honest about somethings personally that I had never been honest about before.
I am so grateful for that. Even though I try to be really intentional about confession to God for my sins, I have also become more in tune with moments when I read something or am told something, or the Spirit prompts some personal reflection and - my brain shuts off. Just goes dark. I don't even know how to respond. I am scared to see myself in the truth that God sees me in (and loves me in and wants to mature me from and to). Does that ever happen to you?
Those truly dark areas are the ones I am asking God to illume this year to me, those parts I have put caution tape around and said, "This is off limits. It's fine. It's covered. This part is not acting up." Yet beyond that tape is unresolved fear, questions, and anxieties that influence my theology. Which in turn influences what I write, which I feel a great burden of responsibility about because not many should be become teachers.
Speaking of responsibility and teaching... I never though I would be homeschooling! But this is season God has led me to and I want to excel within this space and do right by my children.
And I am craving more accountability for my words that I share with you and post and publish. I am praying about that next season for when it comes. I may have to wait decades and that is okay if decades of personal growth and biblical study are what labors the birth of something true and lasting for you to read. The more I learn now, the more humble I am about my capabilities. I crave edification, support, growth, a larger, diverse and mature writing/publishing community.
This Christmas, I hope that you open up some chambers of your heart that have been left dark and shut off. I hope you open them up to fresh hope and constant love, the love for you that has always been flowing and nourishing you when you cannot perceive it.
Merry Christmas! Thank you for reading my blog, and I pray you have a Happy New Year! God bless you and your family!